i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
