I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
