so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
