so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
