operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
