So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
