Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
