I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
