I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize