i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
