Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
