first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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