Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize