It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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