Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize