I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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