I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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