what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
