How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
