I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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