is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
