I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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