i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
