Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
