how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
