whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
