You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
