You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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