your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize