Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
