We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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