Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
