i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
