bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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