I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize