FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Randomize
