She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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