her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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