i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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