Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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