I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize