apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
