Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize