when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
Randomize
