2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
