I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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