tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
