fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
