Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
