I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
