I just cut my nipple shaving
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
