If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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