So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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