Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
