pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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