windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
