never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
