I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
