Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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