She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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